Not Nearly Perfect
by Morgan le Fay3
Summary: Buffy Summers is the new girl at Sunnydale High, she's smart, popular, funny, athletic, and everything everyone wants to be. But even she has her secrets, because she's Not Nearly as Perfect as everyone thinks she is.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Not Nearly Perfect Author: Morgan le Fay3 (aka. Ashley) Email: love2hateme4eva@hotmail.com Disclaimer: You know the deal people. Not mine, yeah no problem, just continue to rub it in my face. I mean its not like i'm Joss...I have feelings people!!!! That little essay like answer Buffy said was from some site i found a while back, but i lost the link so.....woops.... Rating: up to NC17 Type: Romance/Drama/Mystery i dunno, read and find out Author's Notes: This is my first time posting, i just registered a couple of days ago. This fic is something i've been working on for a while...kind of a real long while...i've already sent most of it out to the yahoo groups, im expecting it to be finished by the end of the week...hopefully. While this is not my first fic, this is the first fic i've actually committed to (my first story is incomplete as of now). I didn't realize how tedious and slow the writing process could be, as well as rewarding. I congratulate all the authors who are working on stories, because it takes so much dedication and commitment. Writing stories is still very new to me, so to me this is a kind of mediocre attempt at writing, but i figure that the best way to get better is to keep on writing, so....here ya go!  
  
"Bye Uncle Giles!" Buffy Summers called out as she stumbled out of the door, on her way to school. It had taken her nearly an hour to find the perfect outfit. Most of her stuff hadn't arrived at the new house yet. She was wearing a sky blue skirt that casually draped over her ankles, and had two long slits on both sides. Under her dark blue jean jacket, she wore a creamy white, spaghetti strap top. Her almost shimmering golden, hair was piled on top of her head, in a messy bun. A few strands fell out of place, and were left to dance with the wind upon her almost perfectly placed cheekbones.  
People were always telling her how beautiful she was. When she went to Ireland during the summers, she was known throughout the town as 'Brinneall a' àiteag' 'Beautiful and shy.' She wasn't a shy person at all. With her friends she was the center of attention, outgoing and fun, but she distrusted certain people, especially guys. She was beautiful and she knew it, but she wasn't cocky, she even looked upon her beauty as a curse at times. She didn't date because guys took one look at her and saw 'brinneall' 'a beautiful lady,' and nothing more.  
'Sunnydale,'she thought,'definitely not LA! but it's kinda nice.'  
The ringing of a loud bell brought her away from her thoughts. "Damn, i'm gonna be late!" she shouted, starting at a run toward the steps of Sunnydale High.  
  
"So whats was up with little miss.i'm trying way too hard to be a bad girl?" Buffy asked Cordy at lunch.  
It turned out that Cordy and her had all their periods except 2 together, and they were finding that they were amazing compatible friends.  
Cordy laughed at Buffy's name for Willow. She also realized that she laughed at a lot of things Buffy said. She was funny, stylish, smart, most definitely NOT fake, and the kind of friend Cordy missed having. "We kind of used to be...friends. Scratch that, we were actually best friends. Things happened and she decided to try getting high and mighty. So I decided to try high and mighty right back, and of course I was better at it than she." Buffy nodded beginning to understand where this story was going.  
"In junior high we were both really popular, and it was the same freshman year, except she started to up the stakes. She was totally outta control, and she wanted to crush me. Totally destroy everything that was me. I wouldn't let her. I didn't let her, and in the process I crushed her. Ironic huh? I didn't mean to, I never had any intention to hurt her, because she was the only REAL friend I had ever had. Everyone else was too fake; they weren't friends. Suddenly I was this cold hearted ruthless bitch in everyone's eyes, and that made me cool."  
"Drama of the worse kind," Buffy said sympathetically. Cordy smiled almost bitterly.  
She didn't know why she needed Buffy to know the whole story, but she did know that she didn't want Buffy thinking she was like the rest of her clique. " I just don't get why she started the whole high and mighty routine. When did she start hating you so much?" Buffy asked.  
Once the question was out of her mouth Buffy regretted asking it. Cordy looked like she could break down any moment. Not on the outside of course, pain like that cuts too deep. You have to really look into someone's eyes to catch that kind of pain and hurt. Buffy knew all to well about the work it took to keep smiling when you were dieing on the inside. She still did it now.  
Cordy turned her head to the other side of the cafeteria. She looked at her usual table, filled up with all the popular people. One chair was empty, and that was hers. She had told her clique she wouldn't be sitting with them today. No one would question her of course, but she knew she'd have explaining to do later, or people would talk.  
She pointed to a guy with brown hair and a goofy smile on his face. He was wearing khaki pants and a green shirt. Everything about him screamed popular and rich. "See that guy over there?" she asked Buffy, "that's Xander Harris. Most popular guy in school. Richest guy in school. Funniest guy in school. Biggest Jerk in school."  
"Aren't they usually?" Buffy asked amused.  
"He and Willow used to be best friends too. They started dating in Junior high, and that's when Willow started to get popular. She was with the ideal guy to be with. The summer before Freshman year they drifted apart, and he drifted toward me. Now Willow and I weren't friends any more, but I still didn't want to betray her like that. So Xander and I decided to be strictly friends. Except we couldn't exactly be just friends cause he had feelings for me.and I started having feelings for him. Not even butterflies in ya tummy feelings. I'm talking about full blown feelings I never believed you could have that young.  
"We started sneaking kisses here and there, and by the end of the summer you couldn't not realized how much we were into eachother. School started and Willow didn't know anything about this, cause she'd been away all summer. By then we were officially an item, and she hated me for it. She never blamed Xander at all, just me."  
They didn't say anything to eachother for a while. "Wanna go shopping after school?" Buffy asked, needing to break the silence, and sensing Cordelia needed a shift in conversation. "Hell ya, I saw the new coach bag in the catalogue yesterday, and I absolutely need it." Cordy answered automatically, making both of them laugh.  
"Right then," Buffy's face was serious, but her eyes were laughing "shopping it is."  
  
"Are you sure your uncle won't mind me staying over for the night?" Cordy asked her voice a bit nervous, and edgy.  
"Please, no prob, he's totally in the know!" Buffy answered smiling. It was sad to see someone like Cordelia, who looked so confident on the outside, be so lonely and hungry for real friendship, whether she knew it or not. Maybe it was so sad because Buffy used to be just like that. Snapping away from her thoughts, she realized that Cordy had just asked her something.  
"I'm sorry, could you repeat? I was off wandering. " Buffy asked.  
"Translation please." Seeing Buffy's blank look she added," you said your uncle was in the know, translation?"  
"Oh." Buffy shook her head. "Sorry LA slang. I just meant that I called him on my cell to let him know, but anyways he would've been cool with it even without the call." She smiled wistfully as she walked down the hall and led Cordelia to her room. Once they were inside she let her hair out, and threw her jacket onto the floor with a sigh. Making herself comfortable, she motioned for Cordy to do the same.  
"He's really cool like that ya know. Some people were just made to be parents. Uncle Giles is right up there with the best of them. Like right now he's about to leave the office, and he's wondering what to bring us to eat. He knows I could just whip us up something, and that I would, but if he brings home pizza, we can go into the den and eat it while we talk about something completely random, or even just sit there in silence. It's more homey."  
"You guys are really close huh?" Cordy asked, longing and envy evident in her voice.  
"Yeah, we are." Buffy answered as she changed into her pajamas.  
"How about your parents? Are you guys close?" Cordy asked as she carefully folded her clothes. Her back was turned and she couldn't see the way Buffy stiffened up, or the tears that welled up in her eyes, so she continued. "I can only imagine what your parents are like considering how awesome your uncle sounds. You must be even closer. Do they live here with you guys?"  
Buffy took a deep breath, and chose her next words carefully, trying not to let bitterness creep into her voice. "I wouldn't know how awesome they are considering I didn't have a whole lotta time to find out."  
  
Turning around she made certain she avoided Cordy's eyes, busying herself with putting away all the things she'd bought this afternoon. After a few moments she lifted her gaze to Cordy's, and let out a tired sigh, her eyes troubled and sad.  
"My parents were killed when I was almost 7. Killed by a man who claimed to love my mother dearly. A man who felt that if he couldn't have her, then no one could. A man who till this day claims to be my true father."   
Giles had come home to find two teenage girls holding onto eachother for dear life, and crying their eyes out. Now she and Buffy were fast asleep, in bed.  
With a headache that demanded to be treated but would receive no aid from him, Giles retreated to the liquor cabinet. With a fine glass of whiskey laying on the table beside him Giles let out a strangled moan. Would she forever be haunted by the ghosts of the past? Would Jack Finn never leave her be?  
Curling his fist, his anger boiled to the surface. What had Joyce been thinking, getting involved with him? True, he had been charming, and interested (far too interested to do any good), and he knew Joyce had begun to feel dissatisfied with her marriage, but why would she turn to scum like Jack? What had drove her to feel the need to turn to Jack? And when she had finally come to her senses, it had been too late. Too late for her marriage, and entirely too late for her.  
And now, he comes looking for Buffy, and what better way to get the daughter he wanted, then through the son he already had?  
'Yes,' Giles thought,' Riley Finn is the key. I pray to God he can't finish where his father left off.'  
  
Please tell me what you think! I live and write for feedback even if it's critical! (just try not to be too harsh) 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Not Nearly Perfect 2/? Author: Morgan le Fay Email: Morghanna_1@lycos.com Disclaimer: Alright, I'll keep this short and not so full of witty comments to save time. I don't own anything except the plot of this story, and any characters not on the shows Angel and BTVS. Everything else is owned by the creator of the shows Joss Whendon and any of his affiliates. Rating: G-NC 17 Couples: B/A, C/X, ????? Summary: AU. Buffy Summers is the new girl at Sunnydale High. She's pretty, smart, talented, and to everyone's thoughts perfect. But Buffy has a terrible past that haunts her, and she turns out to be Not Nearly Perfect. (like the title dropping don't ya?!?!?!) Distribution: Yes Please. Just email me first, and ask, I'll probably say YES!!!! And then email me when it's put onto your site. Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's been sending me feedback for this fic.- Especially Jay, whom I've been recently corresponding with. You're awesome! And keep up the good work with the site! -Sorry for the o so long delay, but don't worry I have up to part 7 done, they only have to be typed up and beta-ed. Oh yeah, ummm the song Buffy sings is by "Letters to Cleo" Also un-beta-ed cause I wanted to send it out asap.Sorry if that pisses anyone off. Alright, I'll get to the fic now!  
  
"Sorry for the drama session last night." Buffy told Cordelia from her spot on the bed, as she watched her prepare her makeup for school. Keeping her eyes down on the floor and her head bowed she let out a sigh. "I don't-well I've never.."she turned her head toward the window. "I don't like to talk about it, because if I don't, I can pretend its all a dream." "Will you please shut up!" Cordy said exasperated. Buffy's eyes shot up."You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Nothing. And as your new best friend, its my duty to make you forget all your worries, if you'll excuse me for adding that cheesy line."  
Buffy gave a weak smile. "Anyways Summers, you can't walk into school all mopey and stuff. You have an image to uphold." She laughed ," plus, everyone thinks you're perfect."  
  
"Not nearly" Buffy added with a wry smile.   
I was harsh. Of course I knew the significance of this day, but dammit I wasn't prepared for her.  
Of course that's not an excuse. As a Federal Agent, I should always be prepared, and I thought I was.  
I know things about this girl that she doesn't even know about herself. How is that right?  
She's soft, beautiful, and amazingly sweet. Her picture did her no justice, and when she smiled, I realized an undeniable fact- I. Want. Her.  
I shouldn't; she's too young, and her life's too messed up already, but I can't deny the passions she's ignited in me.  
I know passion. I'm a man that enjoys woman, and I know woman enjoy me. But I always keep my head. I never left myself get passion swept, because then you get caught off guard.  
But when she smile...  
  
"God, I'm so sorry!" Buffy choked out, as she disentangled herself from strong arms. When she looked up she gasped. "Angelus." A fresh flood of tears welled up in her eyes, but she somehow managed to keep her voice firm and the flood from falling.  
"I'm terribly sorry about my behavior here and in the classroom." She began as she smoothed out her skirt and blouse. "If you decided to punish me, as is your right-" "Please shut up" Angelus said as she brushed tears from her cheeks. Buffy abruptly pulled away. "Why does everyone keep telling me that?!?!? I don't want to shut up! Maybe I'll just sit here and keep crying!" she all-but shouted, suddenly very angry.  
"Okay. Fine, you go do that." He said, as he sat on the floor. "I'll just sit here and wait till you're done."  
Buffy sighed, trying desperately to control her temper. "And now you make me feel like a child." She whispered with a frown, as she too slid down to the floor. "I'm sorry" "Don't be sorry, I was acting like a child. I would apologize for it, but you'd probably just tell me to shut up again, and where would that leave us." Buffy's lips curved slightly, feeling lighter. "I meant, I'm sorry for being harsh in class. It was uncalled for" Angel said sincerely. "Oh, umm forgiven." Buffy said.  
They sat in silence for a moment.  
"You're beautiful." Angelus said softly, seductively.  
"Mmm. Who's watching the class?" she asked, disregarding his statement. "The TA. What do you mean 'Mmmm'?" Angel asked with disbelief as he watched her get up and rinse her face, and comb a hand through her hair.  
She turned and regarded him with interested eyes. "I know I'm beautiful. I've been told that enough times to know it, but what difference does it make? You're beautiful. What does that tell me about you? Nothing. Though, if you took the time to come and apologize and comfort me, you must be a good person to some extent." Turning back to the mirror above the sinks, she continued. "I wish I weren't beautiful. People treat you differently. They always seem to want something from you." Watching the mirror intensely she say Angelus walk up behind her. "So the question is Angelus, What do you want from me?" 


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Not Nearly Perfect 5/? Author: Morgan le Fay Email: Morghanna_1@lycos.com Disclaimer: Alright, I'll keep this short and not so full of witty comments to save time. I don't own anything except the plot of this story, and any characters not on the shows Angel and BTVS. Everything else is owned by the creator of the shows Joss Whendon and any of his affiliates. Rating: G-NC 17 Couples: B/A, C/X, Summary: AU. Buffy Summers is the new girl at Sunnydale High. She's pretty, smart, talented, and to everyone's thoughts perfect. But Buffy has a terrible past that haunts her, and she turns out to be Not Nearly Perfect. (like the title dropping don't ya?!?!?!) Distribution: Yes Please. Just email me first, and ask, I'll probably say YES!!!! And then email me when it's put onto your site. Author's Note: Thanx again to all the people who send me feedback, it really means a lot and it's great motivation!  
  
"Did you have a good day at school?" Giles asked his niece as she walked into the mansion. "Uncle Giles! You didn't tell me you'd be home early. I would have come home earlier, and began supper." Giles dismissed the statement with a wave of his hand and set to cleaning his glasses. Buffy watched the familiar process with affection evident in her eyes and dreamy smile.  
"I began supper and your voice teacher should be here in an hour and a half or so, but that is not the topic I would like to discuss. How was your day? And be truthful."  
"Could I be anything else with you Uncle?" she said evading the inevitable question with a smile and gave him an affectionate pat on the cheek. "Now go into the living room, and put your feet up, I'll prepare some tea."  
"Alright," he gave in "you'd rather not speak of it yet, I understand, but we'll talk later yes?"  
"Yes Uncle, we'll talk later."  
  
Buffy had yet to change from her practice gown. Why she had to wear an actual gown for her lessons, she did not know. She only knew that it was her grandmother's way, and that it had to be done.  
"So you're saying that you've hired a babysitter for me who is disguising himself as one of my teacher's-Angelus--because you believe an attack is going to be made on both of us because of a new deal with the Russian government your company made."  
Rupert Giles nodded, hating to keep the whole truth from his niece.  
Buffy looked over at Angelus and studied him for a moment, then turned to her uncle and looked him in the eye, her doubts plain for all to see in hers.  
"If you think its necessary, of course I'll cooperate. I'm glad you told me uncle, I know you could never keep secrets from me."  
Guilt laced itself around his heart.  
Buffy waited in silence for her uncle to say something. When nothing came, she rose from the table and swept out of the room without even looking back.  
  
Angelus tried to convince himself that the reason he couldn't get the beautiful blonde out of his head was purely because she was such a big part of the case.  
That didn't work..Not even for a moment  
Since he had turned 15 women had thrown themselves at his feet. He only had to ask and they gave. But Buffy glanced once at him with that cool disposition, dismissed his looks with a careless wave of her hand, and suddenly he wanted her with a passion that threatened to encompass his very being.  
When he had taken the case file, her picture of course had been present, and he could never deny that it had intrigued him, but she had meant nothing to him other than business, and another pretty face. Now she only had to walk into a room, and business flew from his mind. This feeling in the pit of his stomach was unlike anything he had felt for a woman before, and he couldn't quite decide whether he liked it or not.  
  
She had seen him exit the limo in front of the mansion through her bedroom window and refused to be shaken by his presence.  
She told herself that she was only taking extra time to primp because she was anxious and excited about her performance later in the evening. Plus, she was pissed! No, she was beyond pissed, she was furious, because she knew Giles and Angelus were holding back something from her. From Angelus she couldn't expect the absolute truth, considering they had just met, but knowing that Giles was keeping a secret from her just hurt; perhaps more than she wanted to admit.  
Pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind for later contemplation, she studied herself in her full length mirror, before nodding in approval. She was wearing one of those cute little corsets that showed a little belly- which after speaking with a dozen or so designers during 'Fashion Week' in London, she concluded were soon to be all the rage-an expertly tailored pair of brown slacks that rode low on the hips, a soft brown scarf, and a pink Burberry hat with Gucci shades. She looked good!  
As she walked into the kitchen, she kissed her Uncle on the cheek and smiled at Angelus in greeting as she sat down at the table for breakfast.  
"Ah good morning Buffy. You slept well?" Giles asked worriedly as he put plates in front of both Buffy and Angelus. He knew that Buffy was suspicious of his lies, and he didn't think he could bare it if she was angry with him though her anger could be expected.  
"Hmmm very well, and you Uncle?" she answered sincerely as she got up to get some tea. She smiled when reaching for the teacups in the cupboard. He was trying to gauge her reaction of last night's turn of events. Lovely. "I slept fine. I'll admit I am a bit anxious, this being your entrance into 'society', but other than that I'm quite alright. " He continued watching her carefully. She was managing not to take the teapot and hit both men over the head with it. She took that as a good sign. "And you Angelus. Did you sleep well?" she asked looking over at him, penetrating him with those hazel eyes.  
Did she know? How could she possibly know he had spent the night wanting nothing more than for her to be there with him?  
"Actually no, I didn't, I had a lot on my mind." Angelus answered truthfully as he began to eat.  
"I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps my witty comments and naturally stunning beauty might help you bear the day." She said her voice light and teasing, as Giles laughed.  
"Your stunning beauty and witty comments could help anyone bear the day." Angelus said dryly, wanting to make her laugh. It was one thing he had fantasized about during the night; hearing her beautiful laugh in the morning when they were having breakfast, preferably in bed.and sans the Giles.  
It had been odd for him to sit through breakfast, watching and listening to Buffy and Giles, whose affection and love for each other was evident. There was strain from the night before, but that could be overlooked for now. They were amazingly open, drawing him into the conversation easily without him even realizing it. He had never had this when he was a child, or a teenager living in his parent's home, and he realized that it was because that house he had lived in for the first 18 years of his life had been just that, a house. How was it that after only living in the mansion for 2 weeks Giles and Buffy had managed to make it into a home, when for 18 years he had been trying to make his house a home without any success? On the drive to Sunnydale High School he couldn't help but think these thoughts, and he surprised himself by asking Buffy about it.  
"Home for me isn't the place, it's the person (or people) that you come back to, the person (or people) that you know you'll always be able to come back to" Buffy answered him with sad eyes. "Have you found home yet Angelus?" she asked. He looked at her, really looked at her, and she couldn't breathe. "Maybe I have." 


End file.
